The black dog strikes...
Every once in a while, I wake up and realise I'm going to have that black dog on my shoulder all day. Today is one such day.
Today, I woke up next to my beautiful man, he's made me a gorgeous Sunday roast, and I get to spend the evening with him. Yet all day I've been feeling the darkness slowly creeping over me, unable to shake it off. I hate feeling like this. It permeates my body and my mind. The smallest things irritate me, and I am one almighty grump.
Depression is the bane of my life, and quite frankly, I wish it would fuck off. I've had enough now. I'm supposedly in recovery, I've reached out to mental health facilities, I've applied for volunteering positions, my meds have been lowered for a year now, I've had counselling and attended classes to help me understand my condition better. So why do I feel like I've not moved a step forward? In the last few weeks I've been hospitalised due to a huge panic attack, I still can't get off my meds and I can't afford to do the courses that I want to do to enhance my quality of life. I feel like I'm stuck in a box with no way out.
I know today is just a down day, it'll be better tomorrow. I just want PJ's, a blanket and my man with a big cwtch. Fingers crossed I find my smile tomorrow x
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