My 13 wishes for 2013

13 wishes for 2013:

1. To really get the help I so desperately need to get my mental health sorted

2. For my job to continue, or at least for another great job to come along at the right time

3. Get better at communicating and reaching out when I need to

4. Finish my list of 30 books to read before I'm 30 in June

5. See my family as much as possible and work on friendships harder

6. Work harder on my photography and really use it to help me deal with my depression

7. Allow myself the time to heal, and not beat myself up when things go wrong

8. Learn to believe in myself, and not trust others so fully so quickly

9. Work on getting back into burlesque properly 

10. Keep my flat tidy!!!

11. To eat better and get fitter. AND STICK TO IT! I really must get regular exercise on my list as it will help lift my mood which will in turn allow me to focus on things better

12. Drink less alcohol. It's made me do a lot of stupid things recently, and has made me rather ill for two days after going out on New Year's Eve. I embarrass myself when I am drunk, as well as others around me, and I know my drinking so much lately is down to being so depressed. This must stop.

13. I still want the people I love in this world to be happy and safe in their journeys through life. To love each other and respect each other. Understand each other. And just to enjoy being in this world. Just fucking be IN it, not on the outside looking in. Life's too short.

Say Goodbye to 2012

Suffice to say I have been terrible at blogging this year. August was the last time I was here, so let's take a look at how the end of my year panned out:

1. Derek is still cancer free and doing well :)

2. I'm still working at the Homeless centre and loving every minute. It's hard sometimes, but always worth it.

3. I have managed to spend more time with my family the past few months.

4. Still pants at catching up with peeps I don't see often, but this needs to change.

5. Unfortunately, no wedding plans will be made as there is to be no wedding. These past few months have been incredibly difficult and I have struggled to cope with most things. Which leads into my next item:

6. For the majority of this year, I have successfully managed to keep a hold of my depression and keep it under control. Not so anymore. The last 3 months have been so hard, and I am tired of the struggle. But I am still here, so that's gotta count for something. After changing meds, finally getting therapy and getting support from some truly lovely people at work, I hope I can be working towards the light again now.

7. Cherrie Pips has had a good year. Just need to make up for the last few months and get back on top again.

8. I have mixed feelings about "getting better at sharing my feelings". I've been crap about it for ages, then I shared my feelings and set them free a little while ago. Then things went tits up in a monumentally bad way. So I think I'll just keep these to myself for the time being, to avoid future hurt and confusion.

9. My photography is forming part of my therapy, so hopefully will have a new body of work to share when I'm feeling better.

10. As I said at the beginning, I'm still crap at updating my blog.

11. It's been incredibly hard at times, but I have managed the strength to ask for help this year. Sometimes it's been a little too late, but at least I got there.

12. I still want the people I love in this world to be happy and safe in their journeys through life. That will never change and always remain on my list.